Stressed? Over the last 8 weeks, we have been living in unprecedented circumstances, not able to go out, favourite places still off-limits, and no escape from the partner, spouse, or children. it’s easy to feel frustrated with those around us, even though with the benefit of hindsight they aren’t really doing anything that could be annoying. Its the feeling that this is my space and I just don’t want you in it. Why? Because everything you do and say is pissing me right off. It’s a short fuse right into an explosive argument. Which from time to time in any relationship can be quite a healthy thing
But being able to recognise when you’re at fault, or being unfair is a skill worth having. Because once you can, it’s much easier to recognise when something’s bothering you so that you can get a grip of yourself and sort it out. Which is so much better than prowling around the house with a face that puts the fear of God into everyone else that only serves to alienate people while you take out your frustrations on some member of the family who has forgotten to pick up a sock or spent just a little to much time staring into their phone.
Ok, so why do I get pissed off with people?
I am sure that if I were to ask you the question you could provide a slew of answers. However, there are only two reasons why people get pissed off with people.
When you get stressed or don’t feel satisfied with the way life is treating you, and you’re not sure why, then you need to find an answer, you need a resolution or some justification, so you focus on all the little things that you normally wouldn’t notice.
Regular readers will already know that the mind doesn’t have an infinite capacity, so When there’s so much going on your tolerance levels take a nosedive about the way others behave, and their problems.
After all, mom or dads impending heart surgery that they keep banging on about is nowhere near as important as not being able to get on the sunbed or watching the football
This is normal, but it can bring with it a whole load of grief when you’re being hard on the wife, husband, kids, friends, workmates or family for something that would on any other day be insignificant.
So how can you check yourself?
There are a few things you can do to build self-awareness so you can catch yourself before your shitty attitude starts to surface.
When you feel angry or pissed off, just stop and take a breath, think about why who or what was the reason.
Once you’ve identified the reason, take a moment to ask yourself this.
“In the grand scheme of all that is going on in the world today, how much does it matter?”
When you feel like ripping into one of the kids for not tucking their shirt in, or getting crumbs on the kitchen work surface, or not finishing their homework. Remember there are mum’s and dad’s somewhere with kids in the hospital who they would dearly love their kids to be home dropping crumbs, or spending just a little to much time on their phone and dressing like a charity shop mannequin.
Take another breath, and think about why you’re angry. Does what is happening have anything to do with you, if it does what have you done to feed the problem? A fire only burns so long as it has fuel
If you do have feelings of being overwhelmed and it feels like you are stuck in the centre of a giant shit storm, focus on the way you’re feeling, and ask what do you need to do change what is going on around you.
It’s worth remembering that you are only human and you can’t change everything about the world and everybody in it, but you can change how you react to it.